Where the time actually goes

Most people underestimate their scrolling by a wide margin. The average person now spends well over two hours a day on social media, and that figure keeps climbing because the apps are built to push it higher. For an ADHD brain, add time blindness into the mix, and a “quick check” genuinely doesn’t register as forty minutes gone until it’s over. That’s not a character flaw, it’s how the ADHD nervous system processes duration.

Zoom out and the cost becomes clearer. An hour a day is roughly a fortnight of your waking life every year, handed to a feed that was never designed with your wellbeing in mind.

The dopamine piece

Doom-scrolling works because every swipe might deliver something boring, something upsetting, or something fascinating. That unpredictability is a variable reward schedule, the same mechanism that makes fruit machines compelling. Your brain releases a small hit of dopamine not when you get the reward, but when you don’t know if the next one is coming.

ADHD brains are especially drawn into this loop because they tend to run on lower baseline dopamine. Seeking stimulation becomes the brain’s natural way of topping that up, and a phone offers an endless, frictionless supply. The trouble is, the hit rarely lands the way it promises. There’s a rush of motivation after something stimulating catches your attention, but it fades fast, and the brain is left still hunting for the next small spike.

Layer on time blindness, impulse control differences, and a tendency toward hyperfocus, and you’ve got a genuinely difficult combination to interrupt from the inside. If you also feel things about the world’s injustices more intensely than most, which is common in ADHD, distressing content pulls even harder, because it adds a stress response on top of the dopamine loop.

Worth knowing: the more this cycle repeats, the less each scroll actually satisfies. Your reward system adapts and needs more input to feel the same lift, which is why sessions tend to creep longer over time rather than shorter. It isn’t you losing willpower, it’s habituation, a well-documented feature of how the reward system works.

What it costs beyond the hours

Screen-heavy scrolling is now consistently linked to higher rates of anxiety and low mood, and researchers are increasingly connecting extended exposure with a shrinking attention span, the ability to sit with stillness, focus, and hold information gets harder to sustain the more the habit repeats. Late-night scrolling carries its own cost too. What starts as a soothing wind-down can easily tip the nervous system into a stress response, which is exactly the opposite of what you need before sleep.

What actually helps, without relying on willpower alone

Working with ADHD clients, I’ve found the strategies that stick are the ones that work with the brain’s wiring rather than against it.

• Substitute, don’t just restrict. Give the brain novelty with a natural endpoint, an audiobook chapter, a podcast segment, a short stretch routine.
• Add friction. Grayscale mode, app timers, or simply charging your phone outside the bedroom all reduce the automatic reach.
• Bound the habit rather than banning it. A fixed 15 minutes morning and evening turns an open-ended pull into a task with an edge, which ADHD brains tend to respect more easily than “just stop.”
• Name the urge. A CBT technique I use often: before you scroll, pause and ask, “what am I hoping this gives me right now?” That small gap of awareness is often enough to interrupt the automatic loop.
• Protect your wind-down window. A staged approach, a warning alarm, then a ten-minute alarm, then lights out, signals the brain to shift gear gradually rather than cutting off abruptly, which tends to backfire.

If this pattern feels familiar and you’d like support building a plan that actually fits an ADHD brain rather than fighting it, that’s exactly the kind of work we do together in sessions, combining CBT with practical, everyday strategies.

With warmth,

Sian

The trouble is, POTS and anxiety share so much symptom overlap that people are routinely misdiagnosed — sometimes for years — with a panic or generalised anxiety disorder, when what they actually have is a physical, measurable cardiovascular condition. Understanding the difference matters, because the two need very different management approaches, and getting it wrong can leave someone medicated for the wrong thing while the real issue goes untreated.

Why POTS Looks Like Anxiety

POTS symptoms are driven by an autonomic nervous system that isn’t constricting blood vessels properly when you stand, causing blood to pool in the legs and the heart to compensate by beating faster — often 30+ beats per minute above your resting rate within ten minutes of standing. That physiological response produces sensations that are almost identical to a panic attack: pounding heart, breathlessness, light-headedness, trembling, and a surge of adrenaline as the body tries to correct the blood pressure drop.

Because these episodes can strike suddenly and feel frightening, it’s easy — for the person experiencing them and sometimes for clinicians too — to read them as psychological rather than cardiovascular in origin. Anxiety can also be a genuine *consequence* of living with POTS, since unpredictable, disorienting symptoms naturally make people anxious about when the next episode will hit. This creates a difficult loop: POTS can trigger real anxiety, while anxiety symptoms can mask or be mistaken for POTS.

Overlapping Symptoms: POTS vs Anxiety

Symptom | Common in POTS | Common in Anxiety | Key distinguishing clue

– Rapid heart rate | Yes — specifically triggered by standing/postural change | Yes — can occur at rest or with a specific trigger/thought | POTS heart rate spikes are position-dependent and measurable on standing |
– Dizziness / light-headedness | Yes — often severe, worse on standing | Yes — can occur during panic | POTS dizziness improves when lying down; anxiety-related dizziness doesn’t reliably follow position |
– Shortness of breath | Yes | Yes | POTS breathlessness often comes with visible pallor or leg pooling |
– Trembling / shaking | Yes | Yes | Overlaps almost completely; not a reliable differentiator alone |
– Brain fog / difficulty concentrating | Yes — common and often prominent | Yes — during high anxiety states | POTS-related brain fog is often worse after standing/exertion, not tied to worry |
– Nausea | Yes | Yes | POTS nausea often clusters with meals or heat exposure |
– Fatigue | Yes — often profound and persistent | Yes — can follow anxiety episodes | POTS fatigue is usually constant, not just post-episode |
– Feeling of impending doom | Occasionally reported | Classic symptom | More specific to anxiety/panic, though some POTS patients report it during severe episodes |
– Sweating | Yes | Yes | Not distinguishing on its own |
– Fainting or near-fainting | Yes — common, tied to standing | Rare, usually only in severe panic | Fainting on standing is a strong pointer toward POTS |
– Exercise intolerance | Yes — often marked | Sometimes, due to avoidance | POTS intolerance is physiological, not fear-based |

The pattern worth noticing is *triggers and timing*. Anxiety symptoms tend to track with thoughts, stressors, or specific fears. POTS symptoms tend to track with posture, heat, meals, dehydration, and time of day — regardless of what’s going on emotionally.

Why a GP Diagnosis Is Essential

None of the above is a substitute for proper diagnosis, and this distinction genuinely can’t be made from symptoms alone. POTS is formally diagnosed through objective testing — typically a tilt table test or an active stand test, which measures heart rate and blood pressure changes over ten minutes of standing, alongside a clinical history and ruling out other causes.

If you recognise this pattern in yourself, the right next step is a conversation with a GP, who can arrange appropriate testing or refer you to cardiology or autonomic specialists. Self-diagnosing either POTS or an anxiety disorder — and especially assuming one explains away the other — risks missing the actual underlying cause and delaying the right treatment. It’s also worth knowing that the two aren’t mutually exclusive: someone can have both POTS and an anxiety disorder, and untangling that combination is exactly the kind of nuanced work a GP or specialist is positioned to do.

The Three Types of POTS

POTS isn’t a single uniform condition — it’s generally grouped into three (sometimes overlapping) subtypes, and understanding which one applies can shape both treatment and how symptoms present day to day.

– **Neuropathic POTS**: caused by partial dysfunction of the peripheral nerves that control blood vessel constriction in the legs and abdomen, leading to blood pooling on standing. This is thought to be the most common subtype.
– **Hyperadrenergic POTS**: driven by an excessive release of adrenaline (noradrenaline) on standing. This subtype often produces more pronounced tremor, anxiety-like symptoms, high blood pressure on standing, and can feel especially close to a panic response — making it the subtype most prone to misdiagnosis as an anxiety disorder.
– **Hypovolemic POTS**: linked to lower-than-normal blood volume, meaning there’s simply less blood to circulate effectively when gravity pulls it downward on standing. This subtype often responds well to increased fluid and salt intake as part of management.

Many people don’t fit neatly into one box, and subtypes can shift or overlap — another reason clinical assessment matters more than self-categorisation.

Living With the Uncertainty: How Sian Helps

Even after a proper diagnosis, living with POTS often comes with a very real layer of anxiety — not necessarily a clinical anxiety disorder, but the ordinary, understandable worry that builds up around an unpredictable condition: *Will I feel faint if I stand up at this event? Can I manage a full day at work? What if I have an episode somewhere I can’t sit down?*

This is where Sian focuses its support: not on diagnosing or treating POTS itself, but on helping people build practical, day-to-day strategies to manage the anxiety that so often accompanies it. That looks like:

– Helping people separate “this is a POTS symptom” from “this is anxiety about a POTS symptom,” so each can be addressed on its own terms
– Building manageable routines around triggers — hydration, salt intake, pacing, and heat management — so symptoms feel less random and more anticipated
– Supporting practical coping tools for high-anxiety moments, like grounding techniques that work alongside physical management (e.g. sitting or lying down) rather than replacing it
– Encouraging and normalising the step of seeking a GP diagnosis, rather than people trying to manage an unconfirmed condition alone
– Providing a space to process the emotional weight of a chronic, often invisible illness — including the frustration of past misdiagnosis

The goal isn’t to replace medical care, but to sit alongside it — helping people feel more in control of the anxiety layered on top of a genuinely challenging physical condition, so they can engage with treatment and daily life with a bit more steadiness.

—

*This article is for general information only and is not a substitute for a medical diagnosis. If you recognise these symptoms in yourself, please speak to your GP.*

If you live with ADHD, you probably already know that anxiety often comes along for the ride. The two aren’t the same thing, but they feed off each other in ways that can make daily life exhausting. The good news is that this combination is well understood by therapists, and there’s a trusted local option right here in Newcastle upon Tyne: Sian Barnard at Peaceful Minds, based in Gosforth.

Why ADHD and Anxiety Often Go Hand in Hand

ADHD affects how the brain manages attention, time, and impulse control. Anxiety, on the other hand, is about how the brain responds to perceived threat or uncertainty. On their own, they’re distinct experiences. But for many people with ADHD, anxiety develops as a kind of by-product:

• Masking and overcompensating. Years of trying to “keep up” with neurotypical expectations, remembering deadlines, sitting still in meetings, not interrupting, can leave the nervous system in a near-constant state of alert.
• Fear of forgetting or messing up. When your working memory is unreliable, everyday tasks can feel like a minefield, which naturally breeds worry.
• Rejection sensitivity. Many people with ADHD describe an intense fear of criticism or disapproval, which can shade into social anxiety over time.
• Sleep and routine disruption. ADHD often disrupts sleep and structure, and both of those are protective against anxiety when they’re stable.

Because the two conditions overlap so much, therapy that only addresses one side of the picture often falls short. That’s why finding a therapist who understands both ADHD and anxiety, rather than treating them as separate boxes to tick, tends to make the biggest difference.

What Kind of Therapy Actually Helps with ADHD-Related Anxiety?

A few approaches show up again and again in ADHD-informed anxiety treatment:

• CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy), sometimes adapted specifically for ADHD, helps identify the thought patterns and avoidance behaviours that keep anxiety on a loop.
• Cognitive Behavioural Hypnotherapy (CBH), which pairs CBT with hypnotherapy techniques, can help calm the physical, in-the-moment symptoms of anxiety, racing thoughts, tension, poor sleep, while working on the underlying patterns.
• ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) focuses less on eliminating anxious thoughts and more on building a different relationship with them, while still moving toward what matters to you.
• EMDR, if anxiety is tangled up with past experiences of shame or trauma (which is common for people diagnosed later in life).

Meet Sian Barnard at Peaceful Minds, Gosforth

For anyone searching for ADHD anxiety therapy in Newcastle upon Tyne, Sian Barnard of Peaceful Minds is a well-established local option worth knowing about.

Sian is a psychotherapist and clinical hypnotherapist with an MSc in Cognitive Behaviour Therapy and Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy from Goldsmiths, University of London, and over a decade of practice experience, including time working in central London before relocating to the North East. At Peaceful Minds, she combines CBT with hypnotherapy (CBH) to help clients work through anxiety, panic, low self-esteem, and the racing, overwhelmed feeling that so often accompanies ADHD.

Peaceful Minds Practice Details

• Practitioner: Sian Barnard, MSc CBT/REBT, Clinical Hypnotherapist
• Location: The Grainger Suite, Dobson House, Regent Centre, Gosforth, Newcastle upon Tyne, NE3 3PF
• Sessions: Face-to-face in Gosforth, plus online via Zoom or WhatsApp Video for flexibility
• Contact: 01670 631877 / 07737 491728
• Email: sian@peacefulminds.org.uk
• Website: https://peacefulminds.org.uk
• Getting Started: A free initial consultation is available so you can ask questions and decide whether the approach feels right before committing.

If racing thoughts, overwhelm, or constant low-level worry are making everyday life with ADHD harder than it needs to be, a conversation with Sian is a low-pressure way to explore whether CBT and hypnotherapy could help.

Other Ways to Get Support in Newcastle

NHS Talking Therapies (Free, Self-Referral)

Newcastle’s NHS Talking Therapies service, run in partnership with Vita Health Group, offers free CBT-based support for anxiety and low mood to adults registered with a Newcastle GP. You don’t need a GP referral and can self-refer directly online or by phone. It’s an excellent option if cost is a barrier, although waiting lists and session limits mean it may not always explore the ADHD side of things in depth.

Other Private ADHD-Informed Therapists

Directories such as Psychology Today and the Counselling Directory allow you to filter therapists by ADHD and location. Private counselling in Newcastle typically ranges from around £30 per session up to £100+ for clinical psychologists.

Lower-Cost Community Support

Local organisations such as Anxious Minds also provide affordable counselling for anxiety and can be a useful stepping stone if private therapy isn’t currently possible.

A Few Things Worth Asking

• How do you approach anxiety when it’s linked with ADHD?
• What does a typical course of therapy look like?
• Can you provide reminders or flexibility around appointments?
• Do you offer online sessions?

Frequently Asked Questions

Does CBT work for anxiety linked to ADHD?

Yes. CBT is one of the most evidence-based treatments for anxiety, and many therapists, including Sian Barnard, tailor it specifically for people living with ADHD.

What’s the difference between CBT and hypnotherapy?

CBT helps change unhelpful thinking patterns, while hypnotherapy focuses on calming the nervous system’s physical response. Combining both aims to address anxiety from two complementary directions.

Is there a free way to try therapy?

Yes. Peaceful Minds offers a free initial consultation, and NHS Talking Therapies also accepts free self-referrals.

Where is Peaceful Minds located?

The practice is based at the Grainger Suite, Dobson House, Regent Centre, Gosforth, Newcastle upon Tyne, with online appointments also available.

The Takeaway

Anxiety alongside ADHD isn’t a personal failing—it’s often a very understandable response to years of navigating a world that isn’t designed for how your brain works. If you’re in or around Newcastle upon Tyne, speaking with Sian Barnard at Peaceful Minds could be the first step towards feeling calmer and more in control.

Ready to talk? Call 01670 631877 or 07737 491728, email sian@peacefulminds.org.uk, or visit https://peacefulminds.org.uk to book your free 15-minute consultation.

This article is for general information only and should not be used as a substitute for professional medical advice. If anxiety is significantly affecting your daily life, please seek guidance from your GP or a qualified mental health professional.

If you have ADHD and find yourself gripped by sudden, overwhelming rage or panic at the sound of someone chewing, breathing, or tapping a pen, you’re not imagining things, and you’re definitely not alone. Research increasingly points to a real and often under-discussed connection between ADHD and misophonia, a condition marked by intense emotional reactions to specific sounds.

What Is Misophonia?

Misophonia, literally “hatred of sound,” is a condition in which certain everyday noises trigger disproportionate emotional responses, typically anger, disgust, anxiety, or a strong urge to flee. Common triggers include:

• Chewing, slurping, or swallowing
• Breathing or sniffing
• Pen clicking or keyboard tapping
• Throat clearing
• Repetitive tapping or foot shaking

For someone with misophonia, these sounds don’t just annoy—they can trigger a genuine fight-or-flight response, complete with a racing heart, muscle tension, and an overwhelming need to escape the situation or confront the source of the noise.

What Is ADHD?

ADHD (Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder) is a neurodevelopmental condition affecting executive function—the brain’s ability to regulate attention, impulses, emotions, and behaviour. While most people associate ADHD with distractibility or hyperactivity, emotional regulation difficulties are a core, though less talked-about, feature.

Why Do ADHD and Misophonia Overlap?

1. Sensory Processing Differences

Many people with ADHD experience atypical sensory processing, meaning their brains may struggle to filter out or “tune down” background stimuli the way a neurotypical brain does. A sound that others barely notice can feel impossible to ignore.

2. Emotional Dysregulation

ADHD brains often have a harder time putting the brakes on strong emotional reactions once they begin. This same difficulty regulating emotional intensity may explain why misophonic reactions can feel so sudden and extreme—the emotional response arrives quickly and is hard to dial back down.

3. Difficulty with Inhibitory Control

Both conditions involve challenges in the brain’s inhibitory systems, the mechanisms that help us suppress unwanted responses, whether that’s an impulsive comment or an overwhelming reaction to a sound.

4. Shared Neurological Pathways

Some researchers believe both conditions may involve overlapping activity in brain regions responsible for filtering sensory input and regulating emotional responses, although this remains an active area of research.

It’s worth noting that misophonia can and does occur in people without ADHD, and not everyone with ADHD experiences misophonia. However, the overlap is common enough that clinicians are paying increasing attention to it.

What This Can Look Like Day to Day

• Struggling to focus in open offices or shared living spaces.
• Feeling irrationally furious at a partner or family member for eating normally.
• Avoiding restaurants, cinemas or classrooms due to anticipated noise.
• Masking intense internal distress to avoid seeming “overdramatic”.
• Feeling exhausted from constantly managing sensory input on top of ADHD-related fatigue.

This combination can be especially isolating, since misophonic reactions are often misunderstood as rudeness or overreaction, while ADHD-related struggles are frequently dismissed as laziness or a lack of discipline.

Coping Strategies That May Help

Manage Your Environment

Noise-cancelling headphones, white noise machines, or choosing seating away from common triggers can reduce the frequency of reactions.

Build in Recovery Time

Because ADHD brains can struggle to “reset” after a strong emotional spike, giving yourself a few quiet minutes after a triggering event can help regulate emotions before moving on.

Try Cognitive Behavioural Strategies

Some people find relief through CBT techniques that gradually build tolerance to triggers or by using reframing techniques that reduce the panic response.

Communicate Proactively

Letting close friends, partners or colleagues know about specific triggers—without feeling the need to over-apologise—can reduce misunderstanding and conflict.

Seek Professional Support

Because ADHD and misophonia can compound one another, working with a therapist or psychiatrist who understands both conditions may lead to more effective, integrated support.

The Bigger Picture

If sound sensitivity has been quietly making life harder, and you also live with ADHD, know that the connection you’re noticing is real and increasingly recognised. Understanding why your brain reacts this way is often the first step towards feeling less at war with your own senses and finding strategies that genuinely fit the way you’re wired.

This article is for informational purposes only and should not be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. If symptoms of ADHD or misophonia are significantly affecting your daily life, seek guidance from a qualified healthcare professional.

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtWx0nk0GFfAWOP_NSGYMUA

If you are looking for therapy in Newcastle the information below might help.

I am still doing some face-to-face as well as Zoom and Skype sessions

Types of Therapy

Therapy covers a vast array of treatments. The psychological based therapies for mental health problems can be confusing to even those in the profession.

The lines are now blurred, however, traditionally :

Counsellors and counselling was shorter term for things like bereavement and short term issues. Again things are changing but counsellors didn’t always have as extensive training as psychotherapists. Sessions tend not to have structure and are based on what the individual brings to the session.

Psychotherapists, traditionally are trained up to Masters level and specialize in a particular type of psychotherapy:

• Cognitive Behaviour Therapy
• Psychodynamic
• Systemic/Family

There are many many more. Psychology Today www.psychologytoday.com is a great resource for finding information about therapy.

Clinical Psychologists cover an array of psycho-therapeutic techniques but may specialize, they are educated up to doctorate level.

Cognitive Behaviour Therapy or CBT

You might consider therapy for long term mental health issues like anxiety and depression which I would say CBT is one of the most efficient, hence its ubiquity within the NHS. CBT identifies the thoughts that cause distress and gives the client specific tools to change those thoughts and helps identify the behaviours. It is therefore great for behaviour related problems like worrying, overthinking, procrastination, ruminating, addictions, OCD. As a therapist I am also trained in Rational Emotive Behaviour therapy that identifies deep rigid beliefs that lead to all your painful emotions. Anger, guilt shame jealousy and hurt. It also supports unconditional acceptance, which is about responsibility not blame.

Psychodynamic Therapy

Is more “global” as opposed to CBT that is problem specific and is about rewiring the persons life narrative. It places emphasis on the significance of childhood experiences. Psycho-dynamic looks at the patterns of emotions and thoughts and how they interact, placing a lot of emphasis on the internal dynamics of these. It also aims to helps the client rewire their internal narratives to give them a positive sense of self.

Family Therapy

Systemic /Family is an approach helping people understand the dynamics of their family relationships to communicate better by reducing the distress of dysfunctional systems. It can be used for instance when a child or teenager is anorexic or violent. Or even and adult child living away from home but still distressed by the family dynamics. It can also be useful if one of the parents is struggling.

Hypnotherapy

There are other alternative therapies such as hypnotherapy which isn’t as regulated as the traditional therapies. I’m a member of the British Society of Clinical Hypnosis, having trained at the London College of Clinical Hypnosis, there is also the GHR. Hypnotherapy borrows from many traditional psychotherapies and tailors sessions to the individual needs. It is nothing like you see on films and TV. Hypnotists that do it for entertainment are just that, showman. It works in therapy because when you are deeply relaxed you can take in information quicker and it is accepted easier. You cant make anyone do anything against their will and just about everyone I meet who can relax and fall asleep can be hypnotized.

What To Expect From my Therapy ?

Depending on the issue I can see clients for two sessions for something like quit smoking or teeth grinding, the average tends to be around the six sessions for phobias, social anxiety, worry or confidence, milder anxiety. When a client comes in with a cluster of issues like panic, depression, disorder PTSD, OCD therapy can take longer. Comfort eating, eating disorders I can see them longer term but the sessions are spread out. It various quite a lot. I work with a big variety of symptoms and problems, there isnt much I haven’t dealt with these days.

Sessions tend to be face to face in my office in Regents Centre, Gosforth, Newcastle-Upon-Tyne.

Hypnosis can work over the internet if the client can guarantee no interruption. Alternatively, we do half an hour hypnosis work and I can record an MP3 separately.

Sessions are completely confidential and I would only break confidence if I thought my client was a suicide risk or going to harm someone else.

 What to Expect from Your first sessions?

You would normally come to Dobson House and tell reception you are here or during COVID times people text and I come and greet them at the main doors. Masks are expected to be worn where 2m is not possible so I ask on stairwells and corridors. My office is large enough for there to be 2m distance and well ventilated. However, this is always subject to the government advice and rule changes. There is also 3 cafes near by for you friend or family members to grab a coffee. Cosentinos just next to Dobson House main entrance, there is Marks & Spencer’s and Asda just 200yrds away.

The first session is about setting a goal for the outcome of therapy and discussing how it will work. There’s no point in just rambling aimlessly through session after session and not knowing what is being resolved and what is not. I gain an understanding of the issue or issues and then feed back my understanding so we all know what we are focusing on. This sometimes can be the first time a client has seen their issues in an organized format. More times than not, it is the first step in healing and things don’t look as bleak as they first thought.. Also it is the first step on the path towards a solution. Whether I’m doing hypnotherapy or CBT or a combination we don’t always have time for hypnosis.

How do I Book a session?

The easiest way to book a session is to call me on 07737491728. My hours vary but generally I work Monday to Friday till 8.00 pm at night and can see clients for emergencies on a weekend.

Its important to feel comfortable when booking a session so a telephone conversation or video call is offered to answer any questions you may have.

]]> https://peacefulminds.org.uk/i-need-a-therapist-in-newcastle-how-do-i-go-about-it-what-do-i-need-to-know/feed/ 0 https://peacefulminds.org.uk/lock-down-anxiety/ https://peacefulminds.org.uk/lock-down-anxiety/#comments Tue, 10 Nov 2020 09:11:47 +0000 https://peacefulminds.org.uk/?p=6928 Lock Down Anxiety

Anxiety is an emotion that tells us we are under threat or in danger. Its part of our survival system and it is meant to be uncomfortable to spur us into action for self-preservation. (That’s why one of our biggest behaviours we demonstrate when we feel anxious is avoidance or to run)

In the past we would have been more scared of predators and our enemies. Today our anxieties are usually about our predictions, thoughts, fear of being judged and anticipation about possible futures. We really don’t like uncertainty and that makes us catastrophize which is a way of focusing on the worst possible outcome believing it to be the most likely outcome when it’s not. The churning of these awful outcomes along with the phrases that begin with “what if …”  is called worry. Or I call it whatifery.

How many ways can we feel anxious at the moment, here are some common ones?

• Existing anxieties (financial, OCD, social, health, phobias) are experienced with more intensity
• Worrying about your future job and the effect a depressed economy could have on your earning potential
• Anxiety about losing touch with people, they may not be your friends anymore
• Anxiety about catching the virus or a loved one catching it
• Anxiety about your civil liberties being taken away
• You may feel you can’t live with the people you are locked down with
• You may now just feel you’ve been in the house too long and that outside is generally scary or that interacting with people is too overwhelming
• Worried about what happens after lock down

Whichever one you are experiencing there are some general principles you can follow.

1. Put things into perspective. Exaggerating possible, but not likely, outcomes does not prevent them from happening, it doesn’t stop or solve anything. How likely is the virus to kill you? If we go back to March the government had us so scared, we were frightened to set foot outside the door. It depends on your age and underlying health conditions. If you are a healthy child, teenager, young adult it’s not likely to affect you anymore than flu or you may even have mild to no symptoms. The older you get the more chance (but not a guarantee) that you may have it more severely. 50- and 60-year olds can also experience no symptoms. Its worth noting that the average age of death from COVID-19 is 82 years of age. The life expectancy in the UK is 81.

If you are in an at-risk group and take all the precautions necessary if you have to go out. Therefore, by using masks, visors, distancing, taking vitamin D and keeping as much of a fit mind and body as possible you are reducing your risks significantly.  Don’t mix often with those that mix a lot. Even then if you get it is not a guaranteed death sentence, though you might be very poorly.

2. If you ask yourself questions that have no answer but that trigger your internal survival alarm like “what if we are locked down forever and the economy crashes and there is anarchy?”. Or “what if I lose my job?” then you will continually feel anxious as there is no answer to something that might not happen in the future from the present point in time such a now. Whatifery whatifery what a load of piffery – this is a silly but useful saying to alert you to your over thinking

3. Don’t try to control things out of your control. Ask yourself “what can I do something about and what can’t I? The economy, government, people who don’t adhere to rules. Remember no matter how loud you shout at the telly they won’t hear you.

4. Do the things that bring you happiness. It may be limited but identify them and engage in them. A soak in the bath, a movie, a walk , face-ime or call friends. Remember when you’re feeling low, talking and thinking about someone else is a good way of putting things in perspective and shifting the focus outwards. Anxiety is all about looking in.

5. Don’t watch the news! On TV or online. They present you with a doom and gloom world that you can’t do anything about. The headlines are designed to grab your attention by stimulating your fear and emotional centre. They are rarely absolute truths in and of themselves.

6. What you fear is diminished by facing it. You can do it all at once or in bite size chunks. This can be relevant for leaving the house, shopping or going back to work. This is because the amygdala, the organ in your brain responsible for anxiety and fear, can only learn not to be fearful of something by re-experiencing it and seeing that you didn’t come to harm. It learns. It changes its programming through emotion and experience. For example, that old story about getting back on the horse immediately after a fall. The fall may trigger a trauma, (an unresolved terror that repeats itself in a time-loop like it was happening in the present moment). You can’t tell the person to get over it as the loop doesn’t understand English. By getting back up on the horse ( which will be terrifying) the amygdala learns again that riding is more or less safe. To definitely cancel out any trauma by going out on the horse every day after the fall would make sure a new loop was written over any possible trauma ones.

7. If you need support seek it! Whether it’s with friends, family or a professional. Being alone in an anxious head without any help to get out of it can be hellish. Don’t let toxic thoughts be your only companion.

8. Be aware of your bodily sensations that occur during anxiety so you aren’t afraid of them. There will be a set of feelings that occur here are some common ones. Having these in an intense flash is known as a panic attack also known as full fight-or-flight.

1. Heart racing/chest pain
2. Shortness of breath and struggle to get breath
3. Shoulder, neck and limb pain
4. Nausea, acid re-flux, heart burn, diarrhea, constipation
5. Sweating, shaking
6. Brain fog/not feeling real or spaced out
7. Insomnia
8. Racing thoughts

9. Health anxiety can develop when the above symptoms are be mistaken for something life threatening due to the symptom being accompanied by the anxious/terror feeling. The brain puts two and two together and gets five. A lot of people end up in A&E believing they are having a heart attack. Or have repeated trips to the doctor believing they may have cancer. Checking the internet to self-diagnose is the absolutely worst thing to do for increasing anxiety

10. Mindful meditation in particular is pretty good for accepting and dealing with anxiety. When you fight a thought or try and control one you just feed them more energy and they get stronger. Mindful meditation accepts they are there and then gently ignores them. They lose their potency and you can begin to feel calm. Similarly, if you fight anxiety you also fuel it.

11. Hypnosis is a great technique for putting the body into rest-and-digest, the opposite to fight-or-flight. Hypnosis helps the body to repair damaged cells, the immune system is boosted, digestion and absorption of nutrients is optimized. This is what happens when we re asleep too. The heart rate slows down as does breathing and blood pressure. We are truly relaxed.

There is, of course, a lot more to anxiety than this. For specific help contact me directly. Each person will have individual anxieties or combinations of anxieties. The above tips might help you stop exacerbating them.

Watch out for my next article on what happens when low mood sets in.

The main point to grasp here is that there is a difference between concern and caution versus panic and anxiety!

Anxiety and panic make you feel like the threat is bigger than it is ….and it is just round the corner…. and it will kill you. This will affect your mental health, sleep, diet, your behaviours’ and mood.

When you are cautious and concerned about a threat you keep things in perspective while being safe and careful. You recognize that if you are in a vulnerable group the risk of more serious harm goes up, however for the vast majority of the population no symptoms, mild symptoms or a few days in bed at worst is a small possibility. This thinking DOES NOT make you complacent or take unnecessary risks. It allows you to carry on your daily business without that terrible fear. It will propel you to follow government guidelines in ALL cases but not isolate, overthink or make yourself ill.

COVID is clearly a nasty virus, as a 50 year old woman with no health problems I do not wish to contract it. However if I do it wont be the end of the world and I will tolerate any discomfort it may bring. I have a 99.999999999% chance of surviving it. I also do not want to pass it on so I will carry on with my life being concerned and cautious. I suggest we all do.

There is a difference between concern and caution versus anxiety and panic. This is my point.

I define self-confidence as not having a fear of negative judgement from significant others. I can personally say I don’t fear what other people think in most situations, however, I would probably have a reasonable level concern if I knew was going embarrass myself. It’s the fear or anxiety element that leads to avoidance behaviours, such as not going to social functions, being unable to speak in 1-2-1’s, small groups or in public. It can also be around fear of failing in front of people. If it amounts to an absolute need to be the best (or one of the best) and it’s therefore not worth even trying if that is not guaranteed then we are most likely looking at perfectionism.

The significant others aspect can be peers, colleagues, bosses, or strangers. It is anyone who you don’t want negatively appraising you. Self -confidence comes on a sliding scale from the psychopaths and narcissists on one side to the socially phobic on the other. It is possible that we all move up and down the scale at various times in our lives.

There’s a difference between not caring what others think (psychopath) and having healthy disregard. I term healthy disregard for what others think as doing and saying what you want as long as you balance  your needs with those of others after you have weigh up the effects on them, an ultimately your relationships. For example,I wouldn’t go into the city centre naked, even if I loved my body and desperately needed to show it off. I would realise that I may offend the majority of people,plus my arrest would affect my family and probably my livelihood. However, if you feel self-conscious enough about messing up a joke in front of a group of friends so don’t bother to tell it then you probably self-conscious. If you have an intense fear of making a fool of yourself or being judged on your appearance than you probably have social anxiety. Especially if you avoid a lot of social situations because of this reason.

People may also fear suddenly being thrown into the spot light or offending someone, but it all boils down to a poor self-worth; not feeling good enough. The reasons for poor self-worth are a huge subject .

The good news is that the intense and even mild anxiety is avoidable. It is the inner-dialogues and beliefs that we hold that causes anxiety. If we tell ourselves that we must never be judged in a way we would hate by those we deem to have  significant opinions and that it would be unbearable; and  that we will be rejected or laughed at; and that it would confirm that we a defective in some way,  then that will clead to anxiety as we anticipate the onslaught of shame.

This is in essence a scary, exaggerated interpretation of the truth. The truth, i.e. reality, is more along the lines of; our friends like us for who we are and are genuinely fond of us, and people we don’t really know aren’t really invested in whether they like us or not. So that if we really do make a fool of ourselves or look strange, they aren’t really going to attach much importance to it ( we assume they do. We are not high on their priority list).  To rigidly demand that you must never make a fool of yourself puts yourself under immense pressure to perform perfectly every move. Telling yourself that it wold be so unbearable and excruciating suggesting you would fail to cope and get through it adds to the anticipated horror as does the suggestion that there will be future knock on situations and effects like social rejection ad ridicule. It all stems from and then leads back to a very poor sense of self worth.

If you don’t think very much of yourself compared to others you will make assumptions like this. It can become a self-fulfilling prophecy because when we are nervous we become tongue-tied and can shake due to our brains being in a state called ” fight or flight”. This then reinforces our beliefs and endorses our fears. We then want to avoid situations which increases anxiety. Only when you face a fear can it be diminished. It can be done slowly and in a managed way. That is how I work with my clients.

I also get them to change the way they think and talk to themselves. To  a way that is based on reality and is in perspective – rational- not based on assumptions and faulty predictions. Changing your thoughts and adopting behaviours that allow you to face what ever it is that you are anxious about will increase confidence. It takes work, there isn’t a magic wand.

Consciously controlling the breath in order to increase physical, mental and emotional wellbeing has been around for thousands of years. Records confirming this appear in many ancient cultures around the world, beginning in ancient Mesopotamia to the practice of Indian Yogis, Hawaiian kahunas, Buddhist monks, Martial Artists and Christian Monks. They believed that breathing had an important role in tapping into a universal energy to aid balance, healing and wellbeing.

Science tells us that there are hundreds of thousands of messages going from the brain to the body, and from the body to the brain at any one time via chemical, hormonal and electrical means. Messages from the respiratory system have a rapid and powerful effect on the brain. This has to be the case because if you stop breathing, or the airway is blocked, the brain has about three minutes to work out how to breathe again. The ancients knew that if you could send a message to the brain to calm down in a language it understood, it would work better than just saying to one’s self “clam down”.

More recently, about one hundred years ago, autogenic training was developed by Heinrich Schultz and involves an element of controlled breathing with relaxation. All forms of meditation involve either attention paid to the breath or the slowing down of the breath.

Today there is a raft of therapists and doctors promoting breathing techniques for not only relaxation but as tools for managing anxiety and anxiety-based disorders from OCD, panic disorder, insomnia to PTSD.

THE SCIENCE, HOW DOES IT WORK?

In a nutshell – The rate at which we breath has an effect on the rate at which our heart beats, this is an indication that a number of other processes have also kicked in that keep us in balance. These systems include immune response, healing, digestion and absorption. In fact, most people are aware that we can tell how much the body is in a relaxed state by measuring our pulse. So, breathe work is about using your breathing in a conscious manner to keep your body in balance, also called homeostasis. However, in time and with practice, breathe work that keeps you calm can become second nature. This is because you begin to breathe at the optimum rate for your body to be in the best possible state of wellbeing. When the body goes into a relaxed state it then feeds back to the brain that all is well and the brain begins to calm down.

The majority of our bodily functions are controlled out of our awareness one major system is called the autonomic nervous system.  Here comes a slightly more detailed description of the above. It is composed off two parts; one part reacts to threat or danger and gets the body ready to run or defend itself (Flight or Flight) and the other part brings this highly aroused state back under control and helps us calm down and relax (Rest and Digest). The sympathetic nervous system is the medical name for “fight or flight” and the parasympathetic sympathetic nervous system is the medical name for “rest and digest”. You cannot have one without the other. They work opposite each other in order to keep us in balance or homeostasis.
When we detect danger or feel threatened there is an immediate response by the sympathetic nervous system; messages flood from the brain to body to “get ready”. The chemicals noradrenalin, adrenalin and cortisol are released to affect changes in the body. The body needs energy to fight or run; this comes from using oxygen from the air we breathe to burn the stored energy in the form of glucose or fat we have in our muscles. Therefore, we need the lungs to work very quickly and take in as much oxygen as possible and it does this in short shallow rapid breaths. The heart then has to speed up to push the newly oxygenated blood as fast as possible to the necessary muscles. Sweating is triggered sometimes to cool this heat producing energetic process down. This process takes up a lot of energy so it also shuts down or reduces other energetic processes not immediately important; processes like digestion, sex, healing and fighting disease. During the “burning” of energy within the cells releases free radicals that damage cells and cause inflammation.

The body cannot stay in this heightened state of arousal for long as it puts physical stress on the body so the counter system, parasympathetic or rest and digest, kicks in when the danger is over. It restores the body to balance, kick starting digestion, healing, immune responses.
But what happens if the parasympathetic nervous system fails?

Well, you will not be surprised to hear that’s where stress, anxiety disorders and worry can come from. They make sure the parasympathetic nervous system can’t do its job. In more serious situations like Post Traumatic Stress Disorder the sympathetic nervous system doesn’t turn off and a condition of hyperarousal occurs. This is where the brain and body are in a continuous loop of telling each other that they are still in danger.

Breath work can help. It’s about giving the parasympathetic nervous system a hand.

Other therapies for like CBT are used to manage the cognitive and behavioural roots of anxiety disorders; to stop telling the body it’s in danger. Breath work can work in tandem to manage the symptoms and the effect they have on keeping the person in an aroused stated

How can we help the parasympathetic Nervous System ?

We learn specific breathing techniques; feel the benefits; practice them regularly; feel the long term benefits and then, as it becomes part of lives, we forget how we used to be.

In this part I, I will introduce simple techniques that can be combined:

• Belly Breathing ( diaphragmatic breathing)
• Resonant Breathing
• Pursed Lips Breathing
• Restrictive Breathing ( Seashell breathing)
• Breath Moving

Part 2 will look at :

• HA ! breathing
• Breath Counting
• Vibrational breathing using “OM”

Belly Breathing

What’s the point ? How does it Work ?

Well, I must admit that until I understood the science and then felt the positive effect I was reluctant to put any real effort in diaphragmatic breathing. The other way of breathing is called chest breathing and can make the body feel tense and nervous as it is how we breath when we are feeling under threat.

The diaphragm is a dome-shaped muscle, which separates our chest and abdomen. When we breathe in the diaphragm tightens, flattens and moves down, sucking air into the lungs. As the diaphragm moves down, it pushes the abdominal contents down, which forces the abdominal wall out. When we breathe out the diaphragm relaxes, air passes out of the lungs and the abdominal wall flattens. This type of breathing has two important effects on the body:

• It is in itself relaxing compared to the ‘emergency mode’ breathing of the upper chest, which is an integral part of ‘fight or flight’ response to a stressful situation (see the Stress management leaflet for more information).
• It is typical of the regenerating processes such as when you are asleep, digesting food or the body is at peace. You can see it in the way babies and children breathe.

Abdominal (diaphragmatic) breathing is the most efficient and relaxed way of getting enough air into your lungs. Breathing too quickly, too deeply or irregularly can result in unpleasant symptoms such as dizziness, faintness, headache, visual disturbance, tingling, chest pain, palpitations, sighing, yawning and excessive sniffing. It can commonly become a trigger for anxiety

How to Do It

Find a quiet room where you will be undisturbed for about 10–15 minutes.

1. Lie down on the bed or floor with a pillow under your knees. Undo tight clothing and remove your shoes. Spend a few moments settling yourself down.
2. Close your eyes, spread your feet 12–18 inches apart, and check that your head, neck and spine are in a straight line.
3. Focus your attention on your breathing. Do not try to change your breathing for the moment. Become aware of how fast or slow you are breathing, whether you are breathing with your chest or diaphragm. Notice whether there are any gaps or pauses between your inhalation or exhalation.
4. Now, put one hand on your upper chest, and one hand on your abdomen just below your rib cage. Relax the shoulders and hands. As you breathe in, allow the abdomen to rise, and as you breathe out, allow the abdomen to flatten. There should be little or no movement in the chest. 6
5. Allow yourself a little time to get into a regular rhythm. It may help to imagine that as you are breathing in, you draw half a circle with your breath around your body, and as you breathe out, you complete the other half of the circle. Allow your breath to become smooth, easy and regular.
6. Now, slow down your breathing out, then be conscious of a comfortable pause before allowing your breaths in to follow smoothly and easily. If any distractions, thoughts or worries come into your mind, allow them to come, then allow them to go, and bring your attention back to your breathing.
7. When you are ready to end this exercise, take a few deeper breaths in. Bring some feeling back into your fingers and toes. Open your eyes slowly, and turn over onto one side before gently sitting up.

Part 2 to follow